Michelle's Comm 303 BLOG

What I need to work on:

1. Comma placement.  An example: The 22 pens that President Obama used to sign the bill will go to Democratic congressional leaders.

I wrote: The 22 pens, that President Obama used to sign the bill, will go to Democratic congressional leaders.

2. I often times write in passive voice instead of active. An example is: This past Sunday morning, three local students were hospitalized from alcohol poisoning after attending a party at the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity. I needed to get rid of “This past..”

3. In general I need to pay closer attention to the spelling of words. I tend to just rush through the assignment to make sure it’s turned in on time and a lot of my mistakes were from misspelled words. An example of a word I misspelled was “past” it needed to be “passed”. If I were to just really read the sentence I would have caught that.

These are five blogs that would be interested in receiving my press release because they either deal with purchasing inside of the hospital or are hospital blogs in general. The first blog, Running a Hospital , would appreciate this press release because it discusses the costs of running a hospital. They would be interested in knowing that a man of authority in this hospital is being replaced because of his lack of spending. The next blog, Hospital Impact, is a blog about hospital administration, so receiving information about other medical centers administration would be of interest to them as well. The next blog, New Lows in Hospital Management , would read the press release because of the reasons why Bob Wilkinson was asked to leave. They may find the information behind it interesting. Johns Hopkins Health System Purchasing Department, discusses what their hospital spends their money on; I think reading a press release on a manager being let go because of his purchasing tactics would be of interest to them as well. Blame the Vendor or Hospital Purchasing, is a blog that discusses different prices of products sold to hospitals. Having the opportunity to be able to hear about a manager being let go because his stinginess with the check book would be different for them. Of the late, they were debating back and forth between who is at fault for spending too much money on hospital bins. All of these blogs either deal with changing of management or spending within the hospital. Since my press release dealt with a man, Bob Wilkinson, resigning from his job as head of the purchasing department, each of these blogs would be interested in the workings of another medical center.

For this assignment I listened to a news story of Report: Foster Kids Face Tough Times After Age 18. It was interesting to compare a broadcast story to how a print journalist would deliver this news story. I found this story on NPR.org and every story that I listened to began with a commercial that somehow cross branded the product they were advertising and how it can be used with NPR. This particular voice of the broadcast was just a reporter, she was not a participant in the news. Due to all of the sound bites and other sources this would be considered a package report. As far as the aural style of writing this particular broadcast used simple sentences, but the reporter spoke fast and it was hard for me to keep up with what was really important about the story. The report was wonderfully written in active voice and all of the attribution was in the beginning of anyones statements. The broadcast also used a lot of “sound bites” from the kids and adults they interviewed. As a listener these sound bites kept me engaged a lot longer because the voice was changing, there was noise going on in the background and it allowed me to visualize myself on the scene.

This was different from what a print journalist would wrote because the goal of a print journalist is brevity. They have to get everything said and done within the first couple of sentences for the reader to either keep reading or continue to the next story. The print journalist would have paraphrased all of the quotes provided and more than likely would not go into as much detail in the story because they are only given so much space in the paper. Although, neither one of these medias is better than the other they both have their pros and cons.

I chose to look at The Washingtonpost.com for my evaluation of a web package. When first viewing this website you are met with numerous tabs on the top part of the page. They allow you to click on them and go to different news articles or subjects. The home page is opened to the “news” tab. I personally enjoyed that because on the left hand side of the website it had a combination of an audio and visual clip. You could scroll through the pictures and there was even a video that went along with one of the news stories you could follow. There also was a lot of advertisements on the front page, it was distracting with them being so large. When I began clicking on the tabs on the top of the page the website wouldn’t let me in. I had to first sign up for a subscription.That was frustrating considering all I wanted to do was check out the website. It wouldn’t let me read any of the news articles they had posted on the website. I then changed my opinion of The Washington Post and found it to be a horrible website. I was annoyed that I was not able to surf the website.

I then checked out The New York Times. They also had tabs running on the top of the website and the side. They had a lot of graphics that you could click on that took you to a particular story.  The website was easily accessible and  allowed me to click on any of the links it provided. It has blogs, which allow journalists to compose topics and readers to comment on them. The website also provided many videos. The ones I found were focused on sports, but there were others.The website provided the most popular items on their website which included previous stories and frequently read articles. I could not find a lot of links that went to other websites or newspapers, that could lose a bit of their credibility, but overall The New York Times has a great package. The New York Times was a much better website than The Washington Post. It was more easily accessible and allowed me to really look around at their web package. There really wasn’t anything I wouldn’t click on because of how eye catching everything was. They provided audio and visual clips, previous stories, graphics and blogs.

This past weekend, three local students were hospitalized Sunday morning from alcohol poisoning after attending the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity party.

The students involved were Press Martin, junior, Al Amalek, freshman and Rob Smith a sophomore . Lots of people have been concerned these days with drinking at fraternity parties; recently students at LSU and MIT have died from alcohol poisoning.

University president Harvey Smithville went over the policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses, “Any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.” The IFC president, Bart Addison, agrees with the statement.

From the university, ” A number of witnesses say alcohol was being consumed by the students. Based on that we are suspending the fraternity and all its activities on campus.” Jan Mize from the university’s public relations department said that usually a suspension like this one is for about a year.

Addison is shocked to hear this and is going to ask President Smithville to reconsider the suspension of AZB since it was only the act of a few men and not the whole fraternity.

Martin and Smith were released from the hosptial on Monday morning; Amalek is still there and listed in critical condition. As a result the university might increase its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekends.

In Richmond, Virginia drivers are allowed to continue talking on their cell phones while driving. They also will no longer be pulled over if not wearing a seat belt.

A House subcommittee decided that talking on the cell phone while driving and not wearing a seat belt should not be a first offense. For at least another year, in Virginia, drivers are in the clear. However, if you get pulled over for something else driving without a seat belt can be a second offense and will result in a ticket.

The writer of this article I think did a very good job. For such a short, vital article they got all of the information needed in a small amount of space. Everything that was important to Virigina driver’s is in this article when it comes to talking on the cell phone while driving. I appreciated how factual and to the point this article is.

Stovall Page 129 Exercise 5.10

Writing News Stories

People are concerned with drinking at fraternity parties; recently at LSU and MIT students died from alcohol poisoning. Two weeks ago the University’s president Harvey Smithville went over the policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses, “Any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”  The IFC president, Bart Addison, agrees with the statement.

This past weekend three students from Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to the local hospital with alcohol poisoning. Press Martin, Al Amalek and Rob Smith were the three students who were admitted earl Sunday morning at different times. From the university, ” Our initial investigation indicates that these young men were at a party in the ABZ house. A number of witnesses say alcohol was being consumed by them. Based on that we are suspending the fraternity and all its activities on campus. We have not decided how long the suspension will last.” Jan Mize from the university’s public relations department said that usually a suspension like this one is for about a year. Addison is shocked to hear this and is going to ask President Smithville to reconsider the suspension of AZB since it was only the act of a few men and not the whole fraternity.  The University is considering increasing its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekends.

Straight News: Mom convicted of killing kids in freezer

ROCKVILLE, Md – A Maryland woman was convicted Monday of murdering two of her adopted daughters, whose bodies were found in a freezer in the woman’s home.

Anecdotal News:Cell Phones Linked to Brain Tumors

WASHINGTON – Ellie Marks flew from San Francisco to Washington, DC this week for what she says is a personal mission. She believes her husband is dying from a brain tumor because of a cell phone.

Direct News: Sources: Alec Baldwin Blames Ex Kim Basinger for Daughter’s Call to 911

(The New York Post) — Actor Alec Baldwin fought with his 14-year-old daughter, taunting, “I’m going to take some pills. I’m going to end this” — and then got furious when the panicked teen called 911, The New York Post reported Friday, citing police sources.

Bad Lead: Pediatricians Urge Choking Warning Labels for Food

CHICAGO (AP) — When 4-year-old Eric Stavros Adler choked to death on a piece of hot dog, his anguished mother never dreamed that the popular kids’ food could be so dangerous.

This is not a great lead because of the contents of the story. This information gives me no desire to read this article. If the lead said something along the lines of how he choked maybe it would make me more inclined to continue reading. What I gather from this lead is an irresponsible mother. I would never have thought that you would need to put a choking label on a hot dog brand. You can choke from any food. America is so uptight. If she was watching her child she could have more than likely prevented him from dying.

Stovall page 126 Exercise 5.5

Lawsuit

Suit filed in the Circuit Court against Amburn’s Produce Market for negligence; Ellie Maston slipped on green beans and broke her hip.

Maston is filing the suit for $100,00 to account for permant bodily and mental injury, incurred medical expenses and lost income. The accident took place on April 1 this year.

A Nigerian drug smuggler was arrested in Switzerland because he stuffed 123 condoms with cocaine. He proceeded to swallow them adding 3.7 pounds to his stomach. There was so much cocaine in one condom that it could have killed anyone. The Nigerian was with 6 other people who were stopped after running a red light near the border of Geneva. Cocaine trafficing is becoming popular between Spain and France. The border control was able to retrieve all of the capsules after a few days.

I found this article very interesting but the way it was written was rather boring. These guys put cocaine in condoms and swallowed them to prevent getting caught by some sort of authority. That is repulsive. I would have like to have seen the writer go into further detail about how the men reacted when they were caught. How did the border guards know that they had swallowed condoms full of cocaine? This story was juicy but not a lot of detail was provided.